Literal Drinks-PJO Version
by BurningBunny
Summary: Nico takes Percy to a pub. He tells him how he feels. It ends with sex on the beach. Basically TomSka's video 'Literal Drinks'


**AN: Hello! I saw a video on Youtube called Literal Drinks by TomSka. The video was funny, and the characters in the video reminded me of Percy and Nico.**

**I wanted to make a PJO version of this story, so here it is. More importantly, I don't own anything. The plot was practically TomSka's and the characters are Rick Riordan.**

**Here it is! =) **

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><p>Percy and Nico were walking down a road in Upper Manhattan in the afternoon. That was when Nico started the new conversation.<p>

"Hey Percy, there's this great pub a block away! You want to check it out?" Nico asked Percy.

"Sure," Percy replied.

They walked down a block, and while that happened, a person butt naked was seen riding a shopping cart at the intersection.

They walked into the pub and Percy looked around the place.

"Wow, I have never seen this pub in my life!" Percy exclaimed as Nico ordered his drink.

"This place is great! They have the craziest drinks!" Nico told Percy before he sipped his drink.

"Cool... Wait... What do you mean by crazy?" Percy asked Nico.

"ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?" Nico shouted at Percy, making Percy flinch and almost topple over. Nico went back to normal and said, "Sorry, _Total Overreaction_,"

After Percy righted himself, he muttered, "Yeah... no shit..."

Nico noticed and said "No No No... This drink, its called _Total Overreaction,_"

That made Percy's face go 'What?'

That's when Percy got his drink. "Thanks for the... _Obscure Reference_,"

Nico coughed loudly which made Percy look towards him.

"I just had a _Pigme Stallion_. My throat is a little horse," Nico told him. When Percy drank his next drink, it made gag and spit it out.

"That's the _Recurring Gag_. I've had that before," Nico told him.

Then Nico started to say something, "Look Percy... There's something I wanted to tell you..."

Nico would have continued, but Percy drank the _Recurring Gag_ again, which cut him off.

"Stop drinking it!" Nico exclaimed in exasperation.

"Sorry... Just get me a _Stiff Drink_," Percy told the bartender.

When he got his drink, he had lots of trouble trying to pick the drink the bar. While trying to pick it up, he asked with gritted teeth, "What did you want Nico?"

"Umm.. I'll just get a _Dub_," Nico told the bartender.

"What flavor?" The bartender asked.

"Spanish," Nico replied. And as soon as Nico sipped his_ Spanish Dub_, the entire atmosphere changed.

"Te amo Percy," Was what Nico said. It sounded like " Quiero una tortuga en los pantalones para que pueda encontrar el caracol que se dejó caer allí, Percy,"

Percy stared blankly at him. "I have no idea what you just said," Percy told Nico. Then he ordered a Horsemask.

"Escuschar Percy," Nico started, still in Spanish. But then. Percy took a sip of his drank and spit it out. "Gyuah... That's just the recurring gag again..."

Nico stopped the Spanish atmosphere, and started, "Look Percy, what I'm trying to say is-"

"I'll have a _Perpetual Motion_," Percy ordered, cutting off Nico.

"Percy, what I am trying to say is..." And the bartender slid it across the bar to Percy, but before Percy picked it up he heard Nico say, "I love you!"

And the_ Perpetual Motion fell_ and smashed on the ground.

"Nico... I like my friends like I like my whisky-" Percy started,

"Let me guess; straight!"

"Not trying to sleep with me!" Percy finished.

Nico faced the bartender. "Well, I need a more_ Understanding Friend_!"

"I want a_ Platonic Relationship_,"

"Why don't you give me a _Shot_,"

"Can I get... 5... _Minutes_ to think about it,"_  
><em>

"Why don't you give me a _Little Consideration," _But when the bartender gave him his drink, he got a glare from Nico. "I said a _Little Consideration," _Putting emphasis on little.

"I don't see us working out, so how about, a... _Get Over It."_

"Well, _I can't see a future without you!_"

"Sorry, I'm afraid we have run out of those," said the bartender.

"Can I at least get a _Reluctant Compromise?"_

"Is diet okay?"

"FINE!"

The bartender placed the drink on the bar.

"Are you guys going to drink ANY of these?" The bartender asked, indicating the drinks.

"Nico, I'm going to go." Percy told him.

"Wait... Can I at least get you one more drink?"

After thinking for a couple of seconds, Percy obliged. "Fine, but a NORMAL drink."

Nico gave him his drink.

"Hmm.. Tastes good. What is it?"

"Oh, it's a _Sex On The Beach!" _Nico told him cheerfully.

And then, Percy let out the Cliché "NOOOOO!"

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>Um.. Yeah. That was it.<p><strong>Clearly, the italicized letters were the names of the drinks. You should definitely check out TomSka's video, Literal Drinks.<strong>

**Chris=Nico**

**Tom=Percy**

**Thank you for reading =)**


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